WHAT IS YOUR RELEVANT EXPERIENCE?
- MFA in Creative Writing, Virginia Commonwealth University, 1994
- 4 years of experience teaching college English and literature, also in the 90s
- 7 years of experience coordinating MCRW’s romance novel writing contest, including judge training, overseeing judges, organizing contestants, critiquing finalists who requested it, and being a control freak Grammar Wench. Note: I am not coordinating the contest at this time, but it’s still fab.
- 10 years of experience as a published author, dealing with the authorial side of revisions and edits
- Unknown years of experience volunteering as editor for various RWA chapter newsletters
Except for the Random Hairballs, each type of editing probably needs fresh eyes.
DO YOU APPROVE OF MADE UP WORDS LIKE “DE-INFODUMPING” AND WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON VERBING?
WHY ARE YOU BECOMING A FREELANCE EDITOR? ARE YOU NOT CUTTING IT AS AN AUTHOR?
Oh, shut up, you.
WHY DO YOU TWEET SO MUCH? DOES THAT MEAN YOU WILL MESS AROUND ALL THE TIME AND NOT DO THE EDITS I PAY YOU FOR?
Have you SEEN my tweets? Obviously they don’t take a lot of time to compose.
Only if you pay me to do that specific thing. I’ve never tried ruining a book so it will sell poorly before. Interesting challenge! But I daresay I could do it.
YOU SEEM TO HAVE A DISTINCT ONLINE VOICE. WILL YOU TRY TO WARP MY WRITING VOICE?
No. Just your commas.
YOU WRITE SOME SEXY BOOKS, I SEE. WILL WORKING WITH YOU SEX UP MY BOOK WITH SEX COOTIES?
Sorry, all I can hear right now are song lyrics performed by Color Me Badd.
YOU DON’T SEEM LIKE YOU’RE TAKING THIS SERIOUSLY.
On the plus side, it makes me a lot of fun to work with.
What exactly are you getting at?
CAN I CALL YOU ON THE PHONE TO DISCUSS?
Do you really want to hear me stammer and put my foot in my mouth and say a lot of awkward things in a nasal Southern accent? You do???? WHY?!!?!
ARE YOU GOING TO TRY TO MAKE ME USE THAT MANY EXCLAMATION POINTS IN MY BOOK?
THESE QUESTIONS IN ALL CAPITALS MAKE ME FEEL AS IF I’M YELLING AT YOU.
ALL-CAPS are just great for emphasis, aren’t they? I like to write entire chapters of ALL-CAPS in my personal literature, when it’s a really important chapter. Note: if you actually write any of your chapters in ALL-CAPS, I am probably not the editor for you.
I like cats.
WHAT IF I DECIDE I HATE YOUR EDITING STYLE? CAN I GET MY MONEY BACK?
If you decide I’m some kind of comma maniac before I do a bunch of editing for you, sure. Let’s part ways with a high five and a funny meme. If you decide I’m a comma maniac AFTER I’ve partially or fully edited your book, no, you can’t have your money back. You also can’t have it back if reviewers don’t like your book for some reason. That being said, if you’re getting a lot of reviews on a book I edited that are specific in any critiques of your grammar, I would be curious about that.
No matter what, though, I don’t recommend fighting with reviewers, ever, even if they’re saying wacky stuff about your book. Take the high road…because you can throw stuff on the people taking the low road :).
DO YOU DO EDITS WHILE WORKING AT YOUR TREADMILL DESK AND EATING A HEALTHY, BALANCED DIET?
You totally have a spy drone over my house, don’t you? That’s such an accurate description of my work habits and lifestyle! *tosses blanket over cat-hair-covered recliner and 8 coffee cups piled up on side table*
I HEARD A RUMOR THAT YOU’RE GOOD WITH COMMAS BUT KIND OF SUCK AT HYPHENS.