Peenvengers: Triumphant Return

The Peenvengers have eradicated the scourge that is Justin Beaver and are prepared to accept the city’s adulation.

Peenvengers comic strip

Uh-oh. Could the tide of public opinion be turning against the Peenvengers even though they saved poor Rocky from a fate worse than death? Probably? And they definitely didn’t kidnap him first, although what WAS he doing at their secret clubhouse? But never mind that, what will happen next?

Jody Wallace
Smart. Snarky. Seductive. And that’s just the books.
http://www.jodywallace.com * http://www.meankitty.com

Crochet Peen: Mr. Pinky

penislotionHe’s the original gangsta! Ok, fine, he’s not a gansta. He’s the original crocheted peen. His handler is the peen creator, Jody Wallace.

1) WHAT IS YOUR NAME?

Mr. Pinky. I think.

2) IS THERE A STORY BEHIND YOUR NAME?

I’m…pink?

3) PHYSICAL STATS (height, girth, etc):

About 5″ high and a handgrasp around.

4) WHAT IS YOUR OUTER TEXTURE?

Silky and nubbly, like your favorite sweater socks.

5) WHAT IS YOUR COLOR?

Fresh, petal pink.

6) ARE YOUR STABILIZERS SOFT, HARD, LUMPY, ETC?

They’re, um, actually, um, kind of small and not very well attached.

PERSONALITY STATS:

7) WHAT IS YOUR SIGN?

Though I’m not allowed in the water due to the content of my stabilizers (dried garbanzo beans), it’s Pisces. This makes me eternally sad.

8) WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND?

It used to be the cats but my handler has been making new friends for me lately! I’m hoping they’ll take me on an adventure, but alas, I’m always more of a Peen in Distress, needing rescue.

9) WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE PASTIMES?

Staring at stuff, wondering about life, cuddling with kitties, being meek and unassuming.

peenvengers10) DO YOU HAVE ANY STRONG DISLIKES?

Loud noises, being rescued over and over by the Peenvengers.

11) WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SONG / TV SHOW / MOVIE?

I like classical music on softly and I like Hallmark Channel movies, especially holiday ones.

12) WHAT IS YOUR FONDEST FANTASY OR DREAM?

Being brave and heroic and finally getting the girl!

***

Find out more about Mr. Pinky and Friends at www.crochetpeen.com

Crochet Peen: The Brain

The Brain: He’s brilliant. And he’s in your pants. Handler: DB Sieders

scentedpeen1) WHAT IS YOUR NAME?

The Brain

2) IS THERE A STORY BEHIND YOUR NAME?

Animaniacs – My owner is a lab rat and loved Pinky and the Brain. However, Mr. Pinky was already taken, and I’m supah smart!

3) PHYSICAL STATS (height, girth, etc):

Oh, hell, my owner doesn’t have a ruler handy and her kids won’t leave her alone today! She’ll guess six inches, an anatomically reasonable girth, and aesthetically pleasing shape and appearance without those pesky hairs sprouting around the base.

4) WHAT IS YOUR OUTER TEXTURE?

Crocheted for her pleasure.

5) WHAT IS YOUR COLOR?

Pink – trying to mimic Caucasian flesh tones while trying to compensate for white male stereotypes.

6) ARE YOUR STABILIZERS SOFT, HARD, LUMPY, ETC?

Hard, baby! (Crocheter’s note: I know for a fact those things are lumpy. I filled them with small glass weights.)

PERSONALITY STATS:

danapeenbedtime7) WHAT IS YOUR SIGN?

Ares, b/c I’ll ram you ;).

8) WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND?

He comes in a bottle. Aside from that I love my handler and Mr. Pinky.

9) WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE PASTIMES?

Hanging around, though occasionally I’ll stand up and take notice.

10) DO YOU HAVE ANY STRONG DISLIKES?

Love the ladies and don’t like tight pants.

11) WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SONG / TV SHOW / MOVIE?

Song = ‘Turning Japanese’ – Movie = ‘American Pie’

12) WHAT IS YOUR FONDEST FANTASY OR DREAM?

Making my handler so happy that she’ll let me sleep.

***

Find out more about Mr. Pinky and Friends at www.crochetpeen.com

Crochet Peen: Nick O’Dick

NoD5750Meet Nick. He’s an up and comer, all right. His handler is Miss Jennifer.

1) WHAT IS YOUR NAME?

Nicholas O’Dick . . . quite a mouthful.

2) IS THERE A STORY BEHIND YOUR NAME?

I am a very festive fellow with my red tipped crown and full, white beard that reminds many of Santa Claus himself. I bring spurts of joy to all those who know me, but especially to my wonderful handler – hence my jolly moniker.

3) PHYSICAL STATS (height, girth, etc):

I stand 6 inches proud with 2 inches of girth. I am grounded by my heavy balls that sadly are always blue. I have black eyes that can see perfectly in tight, dark and moist spaces. And I’ve already mentioned my white beard and red head. I also have a slight curve to my erective stature.

4) WHAT IS YOUR OUTER TEXTURE?

My outer texture is rough and bumpy. I’ve been told it is akin to ribbing for her pleasure.

5) WHAT IS YOUR COLOR?

I am a tri-color peen with my read head, blue body (and balls, don’t forget the blue balls) and a soft pink face.

NoD167506) ARE YOUR STABILIZERS SOFT, HARD, LUMPY, ETC?

Well, they are blue! They are quite weighty and help to keep me perpetually erect. The stabilizing balls are a bit lumpy and they make a clicking noise when squeezed (which is very pleasurable for me). I think you’d find them an impressive specimen of stabilizing balldom.

PERSONALITY STATS:

7) WHAT IS YOUR SIGN?

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, the best of all the peen signs.

8) WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND?

My handler, of course. I may have a wee bit of a crush on her but have to work around her ever present husband. I may not be her only peen which is troubling. I do think about trying to get out more and expanding my circle. However, I do get to interact with Spurty the Shark and Petunia the Pony. The three of us get into trouble quite frequently when left alone. Fortunately, I am the leader of this pack. I’m sure you’ve noted my alpha tendencies.

Nick likes to pop a tent.
Nick likes to pop a tent.

9) WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE PASTIMES?

My handler and I have recently gotten into nutscaping, a new trend in photography that features nuts in landscape photos. We are contemplating changing the name to ballscaping which seems a more fitting way to describe the practice. I have to keep my balls in good shape for this, so I work them out with my handler frequently. I believe I have the perfect balls for this endeavor and can see fame in my nuts’ future. I also have a fondness for bubble wrap, snow (although I have yet to see any) and anything Christmas related. Lastly, I spend a great deal of time thrusting which I’ve found to be the best way for me to relax.

10) DO YOU HAVE ANY STRONG DISLIKES?

Gnomes. I sense I may have been modeled after them, an affront I am not sure I can overcome. Fortunately, my handler lives a gnome-free existence. I am not keen on water either as it messes with my erective nature.

nickbubbles11) WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SONG / TV SHOW / MOVIE?

I haven’t listened to enough music to pick a favorite song, but I do enjoy songs with rhythm. A good beat is important.

I generally don’t watch many tv shows. I might need to change this.

Pinocchio is my favorite movie because I very much identify with the wooden puppet who wanted to be a real boy. Of note, I have seen the Star Wars movies several times. I have yet to understand the appeal of Han Solo.

12) WHAT IS YOUR FONDEST FANTASY OR DREAM?

To be a real peen. I dream about this daily, imaging what it would be like much like Pinocchio.

***

Find out more about Mr. Pinky and Friends at www.crochetpeen.com