Remember Nanny Slave? Typing Slave’s “baby” sister who used to live in Wisconsin and keep house for the Party Cats. Well, she and the Party Cats moved back to TN and now the Party Cats are at Grandma Slave’s house. Nanny Slave now is married to a male human called The Moke and as of recently is working on a pink thing of her own. She’s having a really tough time of the pregnancy, according to Typing Slave, alternating between bed and hospital. I, Meankitty, have only seen her once since her body became infested with young, which is disappointing because when humans are stuck in bed, they’re really easy prey. Not to mention when they’re stuck in the recliner holding a teeny human.
Anyway. Nanny Slave sent an email to my human this morning and gave us permission to reprint it here because it shows just how meanly awesome the new cats in her life are:
It’s a typical morning here at casa de me. My alarm went off at 6am, waking me from a vivid nightmare about deformed babies and house fires. As I struggle to sit up and fumble down my nausea medicine, the Moke’s alarm goes off in his room. [[Typing Slave would like to explain here that Nanny and the Moke use separate bedrooms & bathrooms due to Nanny’s health issues and not marital discord.]] I hear the first thump–Dean getting up–and then the Moke’s feet hit the floor. The Moke grumbles the same grumbles at Dean on the way to the bathroom, “You can’t nibble me at 3am, dammit” or “Dean, your butt was touching my face again.” [[Meankitty’s note: hehehehe butt to face, butt to face!]]
[[Pictured: Nanny Slave and Kid2 aka Loud Thing on Halloween. Doesn’t she look good with a kid beside her?]]
I get up and go to my bathroom to pee. When I open the door to come out, there’s Winnie. Rarely, she sleeps with one of us, but for the most part, we have no idea where she goes at night. I get back in bed; Winnie gets up in my face in an annoying, cat-breathy sort of way. [[Meankitty: I may or may not have taught Winnie to lick her butt before inflicting cat breath.]] She gets in some good stomps on my extraordinarily tender boobs before I push her at least to the side of my body.
During the Moke’s morning constitutional, Dean lumbers over to my bedroom door, blinking sleepily at me and Winnie.
The Moke comes in on his way downstairs, also blinking sleepily, to get the a.m. update on puking, hospital trips, general feelings. Winnie and Dean follow him out when he leaves.
Downstairs, I hear the Moke filling cat bowls and gathering his own breakfast and snacks for the day. Within ten minutes, he’s out the door. By this point, I COULD be drifting back to sleep. I’m hungry, but I’m also still partially asleep and could theoretically get in more shut-eye before I have the brave the squalid kitchen to find food. Except…
Dean has started yelling. Every morning after the Moke leaves for work, Dean stomps around the house HOWLING for twenty damn minutes. That gets Winnie all riled up, so she finds some loud-ass jingle ball and brings it upstairs to bat around in my bedroom floor. My plans to expand my zzzzz’s are shot.
And Dean is still yelling.