Crochet Peen

What can I say about Mr. Pinky and Friends? These crochet peens aren’t the turgid, thrusting steel rods of the romance industry but soft, cuddly, amiable yarn creations. They go on adventures, they make friends, and they love having their photo taken. Some of them even join forces to save the world (the Peenvengers)!

erikpercyblueboy

CURRENT PEENS:

antpeencloseup

ANTPEEN

The smallest and hollowest of the Peenvengers, Antpeen is known for his ability to get into small spaces without anyone noticing.

So far he has not mastered “Giantpeen” mode.


brainpeen

THE BRAIN

Since there’s only one Mr. Pinky, this guy is totally The Brain.

Plus he’s super smart. His handler’s even smarter (scientist lady). And he’s in your pants.


captainameripeen

CAPTAIN AMERIPEEN

If you like your peens earnest, sincere, and muscular, Captain Ameripeen is going to be your new best friend!

But you have to be nice to Bucky.


hulkantman

HULK

So recognizable, Hulk doesn’t need the “peen” added to his name for everyone to know what he is and what he stands for. His best little buddy, incidentally, is ANTPEEN.

Do you want to be Hulk’s buddy?


BeaverS4P4

IRONPEEN

He’s a salty, wild troublemaker with an attitude that just won’t quit! He’s also got the best thrusters this side of, ah, some thrusty factory that makes bigger thrusters for other factories, maybe.

Team IRONPEEN ftw!


pinkyheadMR. PINKY

Sweet, small, shy, dreams of being the hero who gets the girl instead of the peen in distress, always needing rescue.


NoD5750NICHOLAS O’DICK

So cheerfully colorful, Nick is what you’d call an alpha peen.

He likes bubble wrap, collecting round things, and filling the world with spurts of great joy.


BeaverS1PsomethingTHE PEENVENGERS

These dedicated peens often save the world, despite their lack of opposable thumbs. Well, BW has some.

They are also profiled separately, or will be.


rockyinadequate750ROCKY

Rocky was one of the first peens created, after Mr. Pinky (the one, the only, the original!)

Rocky has a very special secret that you can only discover if you give him a good shaking.


shaftandfriends

SHAFT

He’s multicolored, friendly, a Scorpio…

Basically everything you want in a peen. And don’t tell me you don’t want a peen, because we don’t believe you!


thorface

THOR

Never was there a more godlike peen, nor one so equipped to wield the hammer Mjolnir!

While he’s a little arrogant, Thor is still a good, cuddly friend. He’s also quite the asset to the Peenvengers.


 

Profiles Hopefully Yet to Come:

MR. PERKY

RALPH

ERIK

ZOMPEEN

VAMPEEN

 

I have set up a Tumblr about amigurumi wieners, because why not? (Note: This is not an invitation to email me all the reasons WHY NOT, because I KNOW, hehehe)  http://crochetpeen.tumblr.com/

I also wrote an article about crocheting Vampeen at: http://www.ismellsheep.com/2015/08/arts-crafts-with-authors-vampreen-with.html

FAQ:

Q) Why are you only making boy parts?
A) So far girl parts have defied my efforts at workable amigurumi with eyes and the ability to stand up straight.

Q) Are you for serious?
A) Last time I checked.

Q) Are the peens based on real life models?
A) Hell no.

Q) Where can I buy one?
A) I offer them for sale via Etsy, though beware that they don’t get created quickly. https://www.etsy.com/shop/CraftyMeanKitty Sometimes I will make one for you if you provide sufficient flattery AND pinky swear to send me lots of photos we can use on the Tumblr as well as a profile.

Q) Are they hard to make?
A) I see what you did there.

Q) Where can I get the pattern for one?
A) Google “crochet penis” like I did. These don’t conform to any exact pattern, for various reasons, but that should get you started.

Q) Why are you so dirty and vile and committing this yarny sacrilege of poor, downtrodden menz’ bodies?
A) Is that a question or a compliment?

Q) Does the fact you’re making mock of menz’  bodies mean you hate the romance genre or men or…?
A) No.

Q) Can I get them wet or use them to…scrub dishes?
A) No.

Q) What do I do when the peen you made me keeps looking at me funny and it’s creeping me out?
A) I suggest a blindfold.

Add your questions below!

hulkantpeen

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1 thought on “Crochet Peen”

  1. I think they are cute as “chit”!! Lol If I were lucky enough ta get one you would for sure receive mega pics of him in mega places/situations;)! All in good fun with friends/followers he makes along the way!

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