Here’s how to be a writer owned by cats! Especially when you’re in a multilevel house, like the Wallaces are now. Just follow these simple instructions to enhance your productivity.
1) TIME TO WRITE! Dodge cat while getting coffee.
2) Feed cat a treat so you won’t trip over cat while carrying coffee down the stairs.
3) Trip over cat while carrying coffee down the stairs. Spill coffee.
4) Get coffee, free of cat, since some of the coffee spilled on the cat and she is now in furious hiding.
5) Step on wet coffee spill on stairs while headed to writing nest.
6) Put coffee on table beside computer/chair, change into dry socks, clean up coffee spill on stairs.
7) Finally go sit down in writing next, place laptop in lap, activate recliner.
9) Grab coffee to take a sip.
10) Spit coffee out because it’s full of cat hair.
11) Cat peeks from behind the couch to see what all the noise is.
12) Notice the wet cat prints made of coffee on the table next to your coffee mug.
13) Clean coffee off laptop.
14) Take coffee upstairs, avoiding wet rug. Get more coffee.
15) Return downstairs to writing nest. Cat still rage-hiding.
16) Get into position, recliner, laptop, fresh coffee.
18) The sound of cat horking in the other room in 5…4…3…2…
19) Try to get out of seat really fast while holding laptop, with feet up in recliner. Drop laptop on floor. Recliner too slow.
20) Race to other room (carpeted) so you can spot the hork before you…
21) Step in hork puddle that blends in with your “clever” stain-hiding carpet.
22) Get dry socks.
23) Clean cat hork up with dirty socks. They’re dirty anyway, and the paper towels are upstairs.
24) Rinse cat hork off of socks into toilet. Place socks on side of tub to dry.
25) Return to writing nest, carefully avoiding hork spot.
26) The cat is in your writing spot, sound asleep.
Jody Wallace & Meankitty
Smart. Snarky. Seductive. And that’s just the books.
http://www.jodywallace.com * http://www.meankitty.com