Hi, Meankitty here. I’ve heard that bloggers and readers are looking for more ways to help authors for free, unpaid street team labor of sorts. I know it’s your dream. So I’ve compiled a helpful list! If you want to help my author (or other authors, I guess, as long as they have cats), here is what you should do.
1) Get a cat. Having a cat will increase your intelligence. If you already have a cat, get another cat. Being more intelligent will mean that you have better taste in books and read faster, maybe, so you can read more. Reading is good — means you’re sitting down and a cat can be in your lap. If she wants to.
2) Feed your cat the best food. Tuna, steamed chicken, select cuts of prime rib — none of that crappy dry stuff! If your cats are happy and well fed, it means you will be happier. Being happier means you have better taste in books etc etc sitting down etc etc petting!
3) Build your cat a play yard. Some call it a catio. It should be large, safe, and full of climbing toys, sunspots, comfy perches, mucho grass, and lots of birds. I do understand that not all cats get to go outside, so the catio safe-yard is a must.
4) Pet your cat as much as she wants to be petted. Supposedly this helps your blood pressure or something, I don’t know, but the cat will like it and that’s what’s important.
5) Let your cat eat off your plate if she wants to. What are you having? Make sure there’s a meat and something with lots of butter. Is that not healthy for you? That’s okay, it’s just for the cat. You can eat the broccoli.
6) Make sure your furniture is expensive and satisfying to use as a scratching post. Cheap, hard-to-claw furniture will NOT keep your menagerie of cats happy! They need their claws to be sharp in case they need to defend the household against encroachment or maybe just bat around a half-dead mouse. Don’t worry about what people who come to your house will think. They don’t matter; only the cats matter.
7) Have lots of cat pans and clean them twice a day! Your cats shouldn’t have to wander all over the house in search of a nice place to relieve themselves! That’s just not humane. I hear that one cat pan per cat is a good idea. Whenever your cat uses the facilities, politely wait until they are done and then clean it. That might be more than twice a day, but you aren’t doing anything else, are you? Well, I guess you can read my author’s books while you wait to clean the cat boxes.
8) What was this list supposed to be about again? Why cats are awesome? It wasn’t? Well, let me assure you, cats are awesome. Have a nice, catty day!
Meankitty & Typist Jody Wallace
www.meankitty.com * www.jodywallace.com