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God, I’m Good

Typing Slave was settled in the comfy chair–she calls it a recliner–with the heating pad I so love to curl up on. Something about bruises and welts from the IV? Like I care. Anyway, she wouldn’t let me ON the heating pad because she had her new laptop COMPUTER and wasn’t even working on my site with it. Said she was trying to write a synopsis with a friend. What a joke.

To teach her a lesson, I knocked over her water so it spilled across the electrical cords to her pad and laptop. I knew better than knock it onto the laptop itself because I’d get banished to the upstairs. I’m saving that for desperate times.

Got her out of the chair and me into it. My aim is perfection.

Who Is That Freak?

Tonight I was happily winding around the legs of Typing Slave as she and Food Slave puttered around the kitchen preparing their dinner when I noticed a big fat hairy STRAY outside the back door! I hate strays on my back porch! I attacked the glass, as is my wont, but the stray just stood there and cried and looked all pitiful and cold. Typing Slave hastened to my side (good slave) to investigate the ruckus and turns out the stray was Big D, who had escaped while Food Slave and Pink Thing were outside grilling meat.

Okay, the slaves think the stray is Big D and the stray certainly seems at home in my domicile, but I’m not convinced. It’s hours later, and I’m still stalking the STRAY, hissing, and fluffling my tail. Invasion of the catbody snatchers, much? This could be the beginning of the end. You mark my words. And I don’t know where the slaves get off calling me a “freakish menace” when all I’m doing is protecting what’s mine from the aliens.

That’s what TFS gets…

Sam Speaking:
Our TFS left us with GOTC for three whole days. She got home last night and boy, were we ready. Gray and I tore around under her feet while she was making multiple trips in from the car. Then, we proceeded to help her unpack by digging into any open bag or suitcase. I pushed her open pocketbook off the kitchen table and dumped everything into the floor. I found a parking ticket in there TFS needs to pay by this week or else her fee increases, so I chewed it up. Ha!! Nala wasn’t much help with the ransacking, but she had added her own special “spice” earlier in the day by barfing in the bedroom floor for TFS to step in after she had taken her shoes off — so she only had socks on. Nothing squishes like kitty vomit underfoot.

Sewing For Cats

When Typing Slave was lolling on the ground (free game!) doing tempting, taunting stuff with fabric, crinkly paper, pins and scissors today, I did my best to help. Make that interfere. Eventually TS gave up and went away, muttering something about cutting off the end of my paw if she weren’t careful. Now nobody’s around to see what I do to the sewing kit. Threaaaaaaaaaaaaaad. Yum yum!