Q. Do you have a newsletter?
Yep. See? http://mad.ly/signups/104974/join You can also subscribe to see new blog entries somewhere in my sidebar.
Q. What do you think about book reviews?
Love them! Especially if I’m looking for something to read and I want to know what people thought of that book.
Oh, wait, are you talking about reviews of MY books? I like those, too. Whether it’s terrible, average or good, it means somebody interacted with my story and felt strongly enough about it to spout off.
HOWEVER. I think book reviews are for OTHER READERS, not me as the author, just like movie reviews are for OTHER VIEWERS and restaurant reviews are for OTHER DINERS. It’s disheartening that some reviewers have become reluctant to post less than shiny reviews for fear of authorial retaliation. All I can say is don’t worry about that with me.
If you want to review my books, I’m easily persuaded to part with author copies. Just contact me and see what I currently have in stock. I also have free fiction and excerpts on my site, and I believe you can get free samples of everything at most e-retailers.
Q. Do you have a street team?
If I had a street team, I’d ask them to go thrifting and junk store shopping with me! Wait, that’s called “friends.” But no. I do not have a street team. In fact, I’m looking at the street outside my house right now, and it’s completely empty except for some lurid chalk drawings my children created. I TOLD them to do it in front of someone else’s house, but they don’t listen.
If I did have a street team, I’d be more likely to mail them all a tiny, evil gnome figurine and ask them to send me photos of said gnome in various places instead of do, I dunno, booky stuff. (I may not be doing this marketing thing right.)
Q. How long does it take you to write a book?
That depends on the story. I wrote my first book, according to my mom, in a single afternoon, complete with illustrations. I remember writing a book in high school called “Earl the Pearl and the Skating Rink Skeeves” in about two days, also complete with illustrations, binding, and an extensive readership of 5.
Since then it’s been a downhill slide, but on the bright side, my readership has increased.
Q. Did you always want to be a writer?
Q. How do you find time to write with kids?
Next question, please. I don’t have time to answer this one.
Q. When are you going to write the sequel to…?
There’s a sequel?? Nobody told me that!
Q. I just loved Character Z in your [insert book title]. When does his or her story come out?
See answer above.
Q. What are your favorite books?
Besides the ones I wrote myself? I enjoy a ton of authors and genres — everything from Clyde Edgerton to NK Jemisin to Jennifer Crusie to Sandra Boynton. Lately I’ve been devouring Lindsey Buroker’s many series, Michelle Deiner’s Class 5 series, and anything by Natalie Damschroder, Alisha Rai, Farrah Rochon, and Cathy Pegau. There are so many books I’ve enjoyed, it would take up too much space to name them and their authors.
Q. Where do you get your ideas for stories?
From your waste basket.
Q. You should tell my life story. I’ll give you half the proceeds when we get it published.
Didn’t I tell you? I already put you in a book. You’re that one who does that stupid thing that nearly gets everybody killed in that scene I had to cut.
Q. Did you make those crocheted animals and gnomes and stuff yourself? And did you really take a crocheted gnome to the Grand Tetons and Yellowstone and take photos of him all over the place like a massive dork?
Q. Crocheted peens? Seriously?
Sadly, yes. http://crochetpeen.tumblr.com/ But hey! I didn’t take it to Yellowstone.
Q. Are you trying to pervert young people, putting your erotic fiction on the same site as your regular stuff?
Actually, I’m trying to pervert old people. The secret is the fact that my regular stuff is much more subversive than my hot stuff.
Q. If I buy an ebook, isn’t it mine to share with anyone I want, just like a paper book?
Tricky question, but not exactly. When you have a paperback, you can only share it with one person at a time, and they can only share it with one person at a time, and while the sharing happens, the book is no longer in your possession. There is one copy and eventually it will die a much-loved papyrus death after continued handling.
With an ebook, you could technically share it with 128,790 people all at the same time and they could do the same thing. The ebook file, while you could lose it in a computer crash if you don’t back up, never deteriorates and is always available for more sharing.
Do you see the problem here?
I don’t know what the solution to ebook piracy aka “sharing” is, but I know that I’d much rather a few of those 128,790 people pay money to read my work. If having a writing career means I make zero dollars, or negative dollars if you take into account marketing and promo costs, I can’t afford to devote my time and energy to it. I love writing, but I also love money, my family, crocheting, www.meankitty.com, thrifting, reading, watching TV & movies, and so on and so forth.
Here’s a little poem I came up with. It’s my MFA degree at work, y’all.
Time is precious
Time is money
Nor is it legal.
Q. How much did it cost you to get those books published?
For most of my books, I contributed nothing but time. The publishers I work with are traditional, royalty-paying entities. If you contribute money towards the publication of your book, it’s considered self publishing, vanity publishing, or subsidy publishing, depending on several factors.
That being said, an increasing number of authors have been dipping their toes into self publishing since, oh, 2010, myself included. You can visit Meankitty Publishing for more information about that.
Q. When are you going to write a real book?
When the fake ones quit making money and go out of print.
Q. Romance! I don’t read that stuff.
That is not a question, so I don’t feel obliged to answer it.
Q. How do you handle it when people diss the romance genre to your face?
Stare at them and ponder ways to blame the decline of manners and society on reality TV or global climate change. Or maybe pirates & ninjas.
Q. Why do you have cat pictures all over your dang site?
Because I like cats better than dogs. www.meankitty.net
Q. Have you considered doing your book signings accompanied by one or both of your cats?
I considered it and quickly discarded it since the cats tend to yowl and puke while in their cat carriers, which would frighten away potential buyers or, worse, cause them to call the Humane Society. To stop the ruckus, I’d have to free the cats from their plastic prisons, and I can’t imagine it would be safe to let them roam the aisles of the bookstore. I wouldn’t want to endanger the shoppers like that.
Please feel free to ask more questions! I have left this page open to comments.