I won’t be seeing the 50 Shades of Grey movie tonight, because I have familial obligations and I hardly ever see movies in theaters. Also, one presumes the movie doesn’t have any cats in it, so yeah. Rental. Late at night. After the kids are asleep.
Meankitty doesn’t know what the big deal is about this movie, and I couldn’t explain it to her. Human mating rituals aren’t something that intrigues her. It sounds like the humans involved are DOG people, after all, making people fetch and sit and roll over and wear collars and spanking them when they are bad.
The franchise boasts that it contains 50 grey shades. Does it, like, number them when they pass by on screen? Are some of them striped? TABBY? That got Meankitty thinking about grey cats, naturally, and how the movie and book would have been a lot better if it had been “50 Shades of Grey Cats.”
So now we present to you “25 Shades of Grey & Mean” because 50 was too much work.
Queen Sheba is a medium dark grey tabby. She is not amused by you.
Jake is a pale grey tabby with blue eyes. Piercing blue eyes that will haunt you.
Edith is dark grey and white and very nasty. Clearly she has issues. Whatever should she do for therapy?
Surely at least one of the Evil Kitties is grey. Morally grey too. In many ways.
Mini Fluff is grey and white and does not like black and white movies. Or fanfiction. But she’s really out of touch with the times.
Wally Moto is about to liven up a grey day by pouncing someone. Also, he is grey with grey eyes.
Maggie the Beast is long haired grey colour-pointy and she’s going to beat up a grey tabby. So that’s really 2 shades of grey for the price of one. Except when a publisher buys it, we’ll double the price.
Maggie is a medium haired grey tabby who is practicing for her paparazzi debut now that grey is so popular. Hasn’t *quite* got the finger/claw down yet.
Gorgeous, smoky Charles Chicken chose this grey striped couch to match his fur. He only sheds on the white, though. And it shows red blood so well…
A grey and white tabby, Chucky Strauss’s “mercy mew” is possibly a safe word. So we hear. IF we choose to listen to it…
Fluff has many shades to her but the grey is the one that, possibly, turns her so sadistic. That’s what we *hear* grey does anyway. Or maybe color coordinated ties? Not clear on that.
Grey, silky Zeus is accepting a tribute from his human in this photo, who trembles in fear of the lash. Zeus does not allow safewords.
Flirty, fluffy Fleur is forced to wear “Softpaws” because she flailed people with her cat o one tail so much.
A smoke colored shorthair with hauntingly blue eyes like Wally Moto, Waldo knows exactly where he is. In Yo Face.
Bellatrix is another long haired grey and white beauty, who is quite the bossy dominatrix. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Don’t let her quiescent state fool you. Dark grey Abbe was in and out of foster care all her kittenhood due to being so vicious and tormented, clearly having come from a dark past.
David Bowie, a grey and brown tabby, is about to shred his human slave for making him dance. Can you tell?
Grey Belle (no relation to Blue Belle) likes to whup bottoms. We can’t make this stuff up.
King Henry, a grey and white royal, believes that you should worship him and be submissive to him. It’s called W/s in the scene for you newbies.
I think brown tabby Cozmo is pissed because he’s not as grey as the rest of the kitties on this page. He just has shadings of grey around his face. And if you visit his page, you’ll see what he thinks of this glorification of grey cats and this misrepresentation of the W/s lifestyle that is getting so much media attention!
Ferdinand, a grey and white tabby with brilliant amber yellow eyes, sparkles in the sun. Okay, not really, there’s NO sparkling on this page because that would not be original. But Ferdinand is another kitty with a tortured and tragic past that has turned him mean. And given him a love for boxes.
Wee grey tabby Smackey can hold her own with dogs. And with rich CEOs who want to own her, for she will trip them all on the stairs.
White and grey Gilbert is really bored by this post and thinks it’s poorly written. Nothing to see here, move along.
Last for today is our darkest shade of grey, Eugene, who is staring at you through the bars of the cage he keeps you in when he doesn’t need you for anything else.
Enjoy your Valentine’s Day!
Meankitty & Jody W.
http://www.jodywallace.com * http://www.meankitty.com