Cattification: The Manxy Mirror and the Stupidest Dog

Today’s cattification is a repair job on a new book by author Tia Nevitt (http://www.tianevitt.com/). Originally and lamely it was called “The Magic Mirror and the Seventh Dwarf”. Take a gander at it here: http://www.tianevitt.com/the-magic-mirror-and-the-seventh-dwarf/  Or at Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00A9V2XF0. Something something something about an “Accidental Enchantments” series.

Oh. My. Meow. So sorry, author Tia Nevitt, that nobody is going to pick up a book with a title and cover like that! It has a human on it…of COURSE. But because Tia Nevitt sounds like a good cat name–so good, in fact, I’m not even suggesting a nom de plume–I have graciously repaired the cover, title, and blurb. NOW let’s see any readers resist this manxy, magical tale of good cats and evil dogs!

Seriously, humans. CATS on the cover, and between the pages, sell books. When will you learn?

The Manxy Mirror and the Stupidest Dog: An Accidental En-CAT-ments story. Ok, it’s not accidental. It’s totally on purpose. But still.

Purebred Persian Ri-Ri LeMew is cursed. Instead of spending his days earning blue ribbons at cat shows, he is enslaved to the manxy mirror and must truthfully meow for the evil Dog Queen when she uses the mirror to call on him. To keep from betraying fellow felines—revealing their locations to the Queen’s slavering dog packs—Ri-Ri wanders the countryside, oh so humiliatingly like a stray, and avoids sentient creatures. IE, cats, humans and the occasional house rabbit too big to eat, but no others.

Gritty Kitty has been teased all her life for being small. When she hears a tale of a hidden farm full of six pound or less cats like her, she sets out to find it. It sounds a lot safer than the majority of the kingdom, now overrun by flea-bitten mutts, thanks to the Dog Queen. Gritty finds this sweet farm and is welcomed by the other teeny kitty inhabitants. One teeny tom in particular, who hasn’t been neutered, baby, woos her with mouse heads, ear-licking and his quiet, dignified miaow.

But doggish danger looms when Gritty meets another stray feline, this one a purebred Persian unimaginatively named Princess, and offers her shelter at Teeny Kitty Farm, despite Princess’s hair alone weighing at least five pounds, not to mention the rest of her. I mean, Persians are pretty hefty cats when you think about it. Slinking around nearby, Ri-Ri is instantly smitten with Princess the Purebred Persian and recognizes in her the ability to launch a new generation of blue ribbon, prize winning offspring…with him as the stud. Oh, yeah.

And that’s precisely when the Dog Queen calls Ri-Ri with the manxy mirror, and he’s compelled to tell her she does NOT have the softest fur of them all. Enraged, the vain and stupid queen—because I’m so SURE dogs have nicer fur than cats—vows to find Teeny Kitty Farm and destroy it.

If either Gritty or Ri-Ri are to have any hope of a happy feline ending, they must team up to break the manxy mirror’s curse before the wild dog packs kill them all…

***

Ri-Ri is played gloriously on the cover by Turnip from http://meankitty.com/2010/08/turnip/

If Gritty Kitty were on the cover, she’d look like Smackey http://meankitty.com/2011/11/smackey/

 
And Princess would be Fanzania http://meankitty.com/2012/02/fanzania/
 
 

You’re all very welcome.

Sincerely,

Meankitty & Jody W.
www.meankitty.com * www.jodywallace.com

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