Meankitty Wants to Know: Cleo the Cat

Yesterday we heard from Jennifer Lynne, and today we’ll be hearing from the large and magnificent moggie Cleo — the true story.

1) So, your human writes books. Does this mean he or she is home all day and easy to access? Elaborate if necessary.

I wish! No, Jennifer and the children leave me alone in the house and go off someplace else during the day. I’ve heard it called “damn day job”, or “school”, or something like that. But it shouldn’t be more important than staying home to keep me company, petting me and playing when I feel the need. Since that feral cat came into the house via my cat door and bullied me into my… ahem, we won’t call it a nervous breakdown… just a little hissy fit that went on for a few months… my human won’t even leave my cat door open anymore, so I’m left inside – all alone – till they get home.

2) How large a proportion of her income do you have her devote to your gourmet tuna, cat beds, toys and other basic necessities?

What’s gourmet tuna? I’ve never had that. Grrrr. When we go to that place called the vet they say I’m allergic to everything except dry food. But my human did pay for my double knee reconstruction a couple of years back so she’s not completely neglecting me. Though why she thought it was good idea to get both my knees done at once is beyond me! Three months locked in tiny room and not being allowed to jump at all. A princess like me just shouldn’t be treated that way.

3) What are your techniques for distracting your human during crucial writing moments, just because it’s fun?

Definitely the foot bite. Works a treat. Start with a gentle lick, then out of the blue, wham! Grab the toe and hold. If its winter and she’s wearing shoes, jumping onto the keyboard when she least expects it is my second favourite trick.

4) What indignities and neglect have you suffered because of your human’s writing career?

Oh darling, where do I begin? Never enough attention, never enough food, never enough petting, never enough play time, never enough snuggle time… oh wait, strike that last one. I do like sleeping across her feet when she’s writing. That’s actually quite nice, really.

5) Tell me about the felines in your human’s fiction. How often do they appear and how big a part do they play?

A starring role, of course. Lancelot, the main feline in her Secrets Volume 28 novella, Seducing Serena, is the one who decides whether or not Nick is going to be suitable for Serena. Without Lancelot’s input, that romance would never have gotten off the ground. And in the latest novella, Pandora’s Gift, due for release in July… now wait a minute… I don’t think there is a feline in that one. Hmmm. I can see I’ll have to remind her how important it is to always have a moggie in the manuscript.

6) On the off-chance your human has yet to incorporate cats into a story, what are your plans for making sure she rectifies this egregious error and demonstration of poor writing skills?

Pandora’s Gift was a lapse. I can see I’ll have to talk to her. Every time she sits down at that computer I’ll jump on her desk and swish my tail across her fingers. I’ll climb into her lap and needle it, purring so loudly she won’t be able to think beyond… “beautiful pussy cat, I need to put you into my story.”

7) What works of fiction or cinema involving cats does your human enjoy sharing with you?

She has often talked about the author Barbara Michaels/Elizabeth Peters, and how she always has a feline in her stories. And I especially love hearing about the stories set in Egypt. My name is Cleo, after all. I am a proper pyramid princess, too. Even though that vet calls me a common domestic short-hair, really, what would he know?

8) If you could make one change to your human, what would it be?

She should write full time so she’s always at home to let me out whenever I want, but she should always go out first to check that nasty feral monster cat isn’t lurking in the garden…

User submitted:

Question for pets: Are you happy with your human? If you could tell your human one thing, what would it be?

Overall Jennifer’s not too bad, really. I do love it when I squint my eyes at her and she gets the message and squints her eyes right back at me. Purrr…

What things does your human do that would mortify it if known? What does your human do that most annoys?

She hates mice! How can you hate mice? The only time I brought one in to play with she went berserk and practically climbed the walls. Silly woman. Most annoying!

Did your human name a character for you? Are you pleased? If not, why?

I hear tell that there’s an Egyptian princess named after me! I wonder if she’s as beautiful as me? My human didn’t name anyone for me. Yet. I’m working on that.

How do you give your writer new ideas?

When I see she’s getting that writer’s block thing again, I sit on the shelf above her computer and stare down at her. I do it very carefully, without blinking, without moving, until finally she smiles and reaches up to run her fingers along my cheek. Then she starts typing again. As you can guess, I’m extremely influential. In fact, I’m probably the reason she’s now been published.


Meankitty & Typing Slave *