Author RF Long is owned by a cat named Atlantis, who has sent us these wonderful answers to our wonderful questions for today…with illustrations! Quick author bio:
R.F. Long always had a thing for fantasy, romance and ancient mysteries. The combination was bound to cause trouble. In university she studied English Literature, History of Religions and Celtic Civilisation, which just compounded the problem. She lives in Wicklow, the Garden County of Ireland, and works in a specialised library of rare and unusual books.
No. My human abandons me every day to go and fitter around in some library of old books. Fortunately she removes the small, loud humans at the same time which is good, so I can lounge all day long. One day, when I gain dominion over all the earth… er… ahem… I mean, when she actually makes some money out of this writing lark, she will be able to lounge around with me, providing comfortable snuggling space, food on demand and playtime.
2) How large a proportion of her income do you have her devote to your gourmet tuna, cat beds, toys and other basic necessities?
I turn my nose up at tuna, especially when they gave it to me as a treat after I was sick, just to mess with their heads. Its highly amusing. It’s far more entertaining to have them run around after me and then refuse to have anything to do with their so called “treats”. Thanks to my “medical expenses” and a neat deal with the local vet, I absorb most of her earnings and funnel them into an offshore account – just in case.
3) What are your techniques for distracting your human during crucial writing moments, just because it’s fun?
It’s always fun. All the regulars, I suppose. Sitting on her keyboard, lying across her hands as she tries to type. I particularly like getting my head on the touchpad so the cursor goes all over the place. However, the best trick, due to one single moment of vengeful peeing on a pile of clean laundry, is just to climb on any simlar pile of clean clothes and sit there, watching her. The reaction is magnificent.
4) What indignities and neglect have you suffered because of your human’s writing career?
The ugly laptop takes my place on her lap every evening. But I have my plans…
5) Tell me about the felines in your human’s fiction. How often do they appear and how big a part do they play?
To my knowledge there are no felines in her fiction. Wolves, owls, ten billion horses, but not a single cat. How foolish of her.
6) On the off-chance your human has yet to incorporate cats into a story, what are your plans for making sure she rectifies this egregious error and demonstration of poor writing skills?
I will sit on the laptop until she starts writing a scene with a cat and sit on the laundry, smiling, if she writes anything else.
7) What works of fiction or cinema involving cats does your human enjoy sharing with you?
The Cat From Outer Space is a particular favorite. I can’t say why, but she does go on about it. And Homeward Bound of course, which makes her blubber like an imbecile and gives us the delightful phrase “Cats rule and dogs drool!”
I think she, the male human, and the small loud humans should recognise that I am actually a direct descendent of the Goddess Bastet (see top picture for evidence) and if not I will manifest myself in Cthulhu-form to devour them all (see picture to the left).
Question for pets: Are you happy with your human? If you could tell your human one thing, what would it be?
Generally happy. I’d tell her “Feed me.” Oh wait, she does that already. Worship me!
What things does your human do that would mortify it if known? What does your human do that most annoys?
Sings loudly, often unaccompanied. She’s not bad, but needs to realise that other people can hear. Even when she’s in the car.
Did your human name a character for you? Are you pleased? If not, why?
She named an entire mythical continent for me! Filled with advanced beings and valiant warriors and magical… eh? what? Atlantis was someone else’s myth alread???
And did your human name you for a fictional character? Hate it or love it?
How do you give your writer new ideas?
Cuddles, love, purring, sinking claws into her leg and headbuts. And never allowing her to sleep on the sofa without climbing all over her to wake her up at the right moment. 🙂