Meankitty Wants to Know: Heather Massey

Today Meankitty is interviewing the blogger who travels the sea of stars searching for science fiction romance adventures aboard The Galaxy Express — Heather Massey. Heather also pens a science fiction romance column for LoveLetter, Germany’s premier romance magazine.


1) Why did you decide to be a reader/blogger/reviewer/etc. instead of a cat sanctuary owner?

For one very practical reason: I don’t have to clean up a litter box after reading a science fiction romance. And besides, everyone knows that the cats’ true sanctuary resides on the moon.

2) Why do you think cats are better than dogs? (Since you call yourself a lover of words, I trust your answer will be eloquent.)

Becuz kats rulz!

3) Tell me about the felines in your favorite fiction. How often do they appear and how big a part do they play in the narratives?

Two that come immediately to mind are Galahad the cat in J.D. Robb’s NAKED IN DEATH as well as the feline-inspired furzels in Linnea Sinclair’s GAMES OF COMMAND. What’s striking is that the cat/cat-like creatures play pivotal roles in both stories, especially the climaxes (no, the literary kind).

4) On the off-chance you have yet to read or review books about cats, when do you plan to rectify this egregious error and demonstration of poor literary taste?

I’ve read THREE LITTLE KITTENS. Does that count?

5) Earlier you talked about fiction involving cats. What are your favorite works of cinema involving cats?

So glad you asked! Nothing compares to the sublime storytelling in Disney’s THE CAT FROM OUTER SPACE (1978). There’s this cat, see, and he’s from outer space. Zunar-J-5, a.k.a. “Jake,” pilots a ship that crash lands on Earth. In order to reunite with his fleet, he needs to obtain a mysterious substance known as…gold. If that’s not hokey enough for you, Jake wears a collar that enables him to communicate telepathically with humans. He even has a love interest! (And if that doesn’t constitute a science fiction romance film, I don’t know what does).

I have fond memories of THE CAT FROM OUTER SPACE but I can’t really recommend it, Jake the cat notwithstanding. It takes itself too seriously to be a comedy and contains such abominable science fictional elements (not to mention the abysmal freeze-frame type special effects) that any serious SF fan would die of embarrassment even if she watched it by herself.

But if you’re a sucker for torture (or just that much of a feline afficianado), here’s a link to the film’s opening scene.

6) Do you have any amazing, or at least humorous, real life cat stories you’d like to share?

Remember what I said about litter boxes? Okay, check this out: My elderly mother-in-law, bless her heart, used to own a gaggle of cats. And where there’s cats, there’s cat s**t.

One fine August, my husband and I arrived at her house because we were going to be married in his home town. All of our close friends would be in attendance for the ceremony and would be using my mother-in-law’s home as headquarters. Unbeknownst to us, her gaggle of wily cats had taken to pooping behind a standalone shelving unit in the kitchen.

Three days before our nuptials, my husband and I were frantically shoveling out bucketfuls of aromatic cat feces. *Three days*. And yes, the job did require a shovel. And buckets.

Amazing? I’d say so, given that we managed to restore a breathable atmosphere to the house with hours to spare.

7) Multiple choice 1. What is your preference and why?
A) Long hair
B) Short hair
C) No hair
— Note: I am not, of course, referring to the hirsute qualities of the hero or heroine in your most recent read.

Short hair. I’m not sure why, but long haired cats have always struck me as elitist. Or maybe it was those Fancy Feast cat food commercials. I don’t care for those at all. No, I wasn’t jealous of their riches and pampered lifestyle. Why would you draw that conclusion?

8) Multiple choice 2. You have a blogging deadline or you’re reading an amazing book, but the cat who rules you wants some attention. Desperately. Do you:

A) Lock the cat in another room and keep working?
B) Pet the cat for a couple minutes and then toss her cruelly aside?
C) Pet the cat as long as she wants because you know it will make everything good about your blogging or reading even better once you’ve been refreshed by feline love?
— Note: If you answered anything besides C, we suggest you consider the fact you would have enjoyed your reading or blogging experience much more if you had been refreshed and loved instead of mean to the cat.

B. I get cranky if I don’t have enough time to work on my blog. Science fiction romance waits for no cat (well, except for this one).

User submitted:

How goes the discussion about discipline in your house?

She thinks she’s in charge, but that’s only because I let her believe that’s the case.

What one thing would you change about your human?

That she has a toddler obsessed with cats. Every time I turn my furry head I hear her squealing, “What’s Amy doin’?” And she has the audacity to answer her own question! “Amy’s cattin’!” Oh, the indignity. What does that even *mean*?

Do you believe pets and humans come to resemble each other over time?

Eh? I thought cats *were* human, only smaller, furrier, and smarter.

Can you type with a cat stretched out across your wrists? If not, why not? Otherwise, how’s the carpal tunnel?

Haven’t had the honor. But here’s a cat joke:

Q: What do cats drink from when they’re in space?
A: Flying Saucers!

Yeah, I’m talented like that.