Meankitty Wants To Know: Inez Kelley

This week, I’ve exchanged words with author Inez Kelley, whose book JINXED will be released June 9. Come back tomorrow to see the interview with Mojo, Inez’s feline ruler!

1) Why did you decide to be a writer instead of a cat sanctuary owner?

I have not actually decided on that, there is always room for another cat.

2) Why do you think cats are better than dogs? (Since you call yourself a writer, I trust your answer will be eloquent.)

Dogs stink, they drool, and stick their snouts in your crotch. Cats on the other hand, decided to let you pet them, sit pretty and purrrrrrrr.

3) Tell me about the felines in your fiction. How often do they appear and how big a part do they play in your narratives?

In my debut contemporary, Jinxed, the heroine Frannie had two black cats, Hocus and Pocus. Frannie adores her furry family. Hocus is a man-hater, spitting, growling and even scratching the men in the book. No one with a penis is spared, not even close friends. He has a fondness for Budweiser although it does not have a fondness for him. Jinx (the hero) had to call the vet on that one. Jinx slowly gets Hocus to trust him by doing exactly what Hocus does: love Frannie.

Pocus, poor Pocus, he has narcolepsy and falls asleep at rather comedic times. He has a small flatulence problem also but as Frannie says, “I love him as he is”.

In my second Samhain book, the fantasy romance Myla by Moonlight, Myla is a magic spell created to keep Prince Taric safe. She appears either as a beautiful warrior or a massive jaguar. No one escapes her deadly claws. She also makes a brief appearance as Taric’s childhood pet, the black housecat, Soot.

4) On the off-chance you have yet to incorporate cats into your fiction, when do you plan to rectify this egregious error and demonstration of poor writing skills?


5) What are your favorite works of fiction involving cats or favorite fictional cats?
I saw the Broadway musical Cats way way back. I loved it. My 5 yr old twins boys love to watch the DVD and argue who is better: Rumtumtugger or Mr. Mistoffelees.

6) Do you have any amazing, or at least humorous, real life cat stories you’d like to share?

I gave my husband a kitten I rescued on the way to his house one night. She was a beautiful calico whose mother had been hit by a car. He named her Sassafrass and she was HIS kitty. One day while he was at work, she climbed up the chimney. We came home, heard her cries (she was afraid) and ended up having to remove the two bricks in the chimney to get to her before she fell. Sadly, she died of cancer two years ago and he was not ready to replace her until he found Banshee in October 2008. Now Banshee is Daddy’s girl.

7) Multiple choice 1. What is your preference and why?
A) Long hair
— have had several
B) Short hair — have had several
C) No hair — cats need hair!
— Note: I am not, of course, referring to the hirsute qualities of your most recent hero or heroine.

8) Multiple choice 2. You have a writing deadline but the cat who rules you wants some attention. Desperately. Do you:

A) Lock the cat in another room and keep working?
B) Pet the cat for a couple minutes and then toss her cruelly aside?
C) Pet the cat as long as she wants because you know it will inspire and refresh you?
— Note: If you answered anything besides C, we suggest you consider the fact you could have written a much better book if you had been inspired and refreshed instead of mean to the cat.

Can I make my own D? My cats sit on my lap and I type over them.

User submitted:

How goes the discussion about discipline in your household?

The cats are not allowed on the stove. Uhm, that is about it.

What one thing would you change about your pet/human?

I really wish Mojo would stop the “COME PLAY, BANSHEE” cry at 3AM. Banshee takes off at the speed of sound, usually using my sleeping head as a springboard.

Do you believe pets and humans come to resemble each other over time?

No comment. Do I have chocolate on my whiskers?

Can you type with a cat stretched out across your wrists? If not, why not? Otherwise, how’s the carpal tunnel?

Of course. This is why God invent larger font.